Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize