he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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