glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize