I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
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he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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