Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize