you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just found puke in my bra..
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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