paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
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he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
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I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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