i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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