We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize