sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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