Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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