Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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