He kissed a someone with a penis
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
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we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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