we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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