Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize