she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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