It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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