we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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