just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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