I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize