We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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