She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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