so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize