drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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