Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize