I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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