I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
there was a trapeze. enough said
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize