she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
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Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
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Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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