Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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