I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize