i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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