Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize