Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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