Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
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If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
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Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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