Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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