she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize