And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize