dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
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Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
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I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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