I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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