Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize