Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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