Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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