so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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