This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
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i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
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I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize