no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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