so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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