So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
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Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
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i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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