So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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