dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize