She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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